Give presence

Christmas is approaching.
As we grow up and get older, things become less and less important and we realise that the most important things are not available in shops.

I teach music and I am lucky because many times the parents are sitting here with us at lessons. Most of them keenly follow every minute of the lesson. Proudly watching their child reading music, decoding the beautiful mystery of a new melody as the black notes are scattered on the staves. Making sense of these dots is like a snake charmer, inviting the melody to come to live note by note. It is one of the most wonderful skills one can have. It opens up a magical world both for the player and the listener. What a wonderful way to spend time and create something out of nothing!

In this technology focused and fast paced world even parents forget to connect with their children. Sitting behind us many times they spend the whole lesson playing on their phone, answering texts and disconnect from what is happening in the room.  Missing an opportunity to catch the magic, the moment when learning takes place, when a piece is played first time with both hands, when a composition finally performed first time without a mistake and when the dots come to live and the piece is not just played correctly but comes to live from feelings and expression, when real music is born.

No Facebook posting or text message can compete with these moments. These moments will never return. Just like the first words and the first steps of a child.

As a teacher, I am very much aware of the change in the energy in the room when we all focus on the player. We are all one, our energy united. There is harmony in the room and the player is supported. But when someone in the room watches his/her phone and is disengaged from the work that takes place, the circle of energy is broken. It is extremely destructive to both of us. It is very hard not to ask the parents to put down the device and focus on the work. To make them realise that they are missing an incredible opportunity to connect with their child on a very different level.

It is an every day problem. We are more connected than ever and at the same time more disconnected from each other, from our friends and families and from society than ever. People are more lonely than ever. The depth of our relationships and connection to other human beings have tragically  changed. Connecting to another person and listening, truly listening to another has always been an Art. The knowledge of the few. Now more than ever. A person, who truly listens and pays attention is very powerful.

What we teach to kids is very important here. How we relate to our loved ones and to our friends carries a very powerful massage about our values. The approaching school holiday and Festive Season is a wonderful opportunity to connect again. To connect and to spend quality time the right way. Having some "no technology" time is scary at first. But if certain days or hours can be limited to quality time without devices, the rewards will be huge and Christmas more wonderful than ever!

When we look into someone's eyes, listen to them and connect on a deeper level, we send a very powerful message. That they are important to us and we want to connect and put them first. Nothing is so precious than your presence. Your true presence. So this Christmas, give presence!